1. |
Foreword
00:21
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This album contains concept thematics of suicide. It choreographs how depression can manipulate your life and how alluring suicide can seem as a way to escape the pain. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please find help. Reach out to a trusted loved one or call 1-800-SUICIDE. And always remember: you are worth fighting for.
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2. |
Suicide Hotline
03:52
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All this innocence you stole from me
Taking me, making your pawn
Well stupidly, I find this sadness endearing
Tell me is that so wrong
I never knew that sorrow could be so addicting
Baby give me more of your drug
My heart is reaching into shadows
I am dancing with my demons
Whoa, you’ve got me believing there’s a sweetness in suicide
Take a fool, make me a tool
Poison me like a morphine drip
Steady and so enticing
Who cares if it’s a bad trip
I never knew that sorrow could be so addicting
Baby give me more of your drug
My heart is reaching into shadows
I am dancing with my demons
Whoa, you’ve got me believing there’s a sweetness in suicide
This melancholy is so numbing
Darkness from the inside out
This black bird knows no song
Hostage and proselytized
I never knew that sorrow could be so addicting
Baby give me more of your drug
My heart is reaching into shadows
I am dancing with my demons
Whoa, you’ve got me believing there’s a sweetness in suicide
Suicide
Oh this bittersweet taste
Someone save me from this cage
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3. |
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Hollow, silent snow
My hand stretched toward nothing
In a place I barely know
This visceral feeling has defined me now
I am lost; how did you find me
I don’t belong in this world
You are the only reason I draw breath
You’re the very core of who I am
And I can’t let go now
I feel you in my pulse
You are vitality
Danger walks the line
In the shadow of a girl that once was
Who I barely knew
It’s irrevocable, this choice I’ve made
Let the rain fall down
And wash the pain away
You are the only reason I draw breath
You’re the very core of who I am
And I can’t let go now
I feel you in my pulse
You are vitality
Oh, be still my beating heart
I’ll go the distance- tell me where to start
I’ll show all the things you mean to me
Now that I’m free
You are the only reason I draw breath
You’re the very core of who I am
And I can’t let go now
I feel you in my pulse
You are vitality
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4. |
Interlude I
00:52
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At the End of the World, Avei awaited his arrival with bated breath. All she was and all she could be resided in the hands of the man she loved. Since he saved her life, she owed him everything, right
At the End of the World, he watched as she turned to greet his arrival. A bright smile turned into a grimace as he thrust the end of a blunt weapon into her stomach. This was the cost of following her heart instead of his orders. Since he took her life, he would owe her everything.
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5. |
Superior Agony
02:58
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I slaved for you
Like a puppet I danced for you
Blind behind these vacant eyes
I sat and watched you feed me lies
Only now could I see you for what you are
It’s too late, my time is gone
I wished it all away too soon
To be with you
You buried my heart
Hidden in a sarcophagus
The stone decrepit and falling apart
Was it that insignificant
Was my love only a door
And nothing more
I looked into your deception and saw what I thought to be truth
My story’s told a thousand times
A shattered soul used and abused
Reality trembles as you show yourself
I only wanted a happy ending too
A happy ending too
Only now could I see you for what you are
It’s too late, my time is gone
I wished it all away too soon
To be with you
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6. |
Interlude II
00:56
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She held together her broken body and gasped for breath before the foreign metal was torn from her. Screams pierced the air as darkness ate at her consciousness. Hot tears fell upon her face, a mere dream in the numb and engulfing cold. Avei’s only friend had found her, and held her closely as though to capture her within himself and keep her forever. As she journeyed where he could not follow, he unwillingly embraced the sense of loss, his vision blurring the small pools of blood scattered like bittersweet roses on the ground.
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7. |
Bittersweet Roses
03:29
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I don’t know if you knew
But I owe it all to you
My liberation
The fight for a cause
There you were, smiling at me
The wind in your tresses
So peacefully
I cannot make it fade
Your scream piercing
Like winter’s blade
Your bittersweet roses
Stained my memory
What a fool was I
Taking for granted
The ambiguous lie
That I stood alone
There you were, smiling at me
The wind in your tresses
So peacefully
I cannot make it fade
Your scream piercing
Like winter’s blade
Your bittersweet roses
Stained my memory
How can I erase this?
The nightmares follow everywhere
Your eyes follow everywhere
Your blood
Like bittersweet roses
Petals on the ground
Your memory
Like bittersweet roses
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8. |
Interlude III
00:47
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Like a hushed inhale, life entered her shell of a body. Cold chills crept across her skin as though she was thawing ice. Her eyes fluttered open, and she lay there, questioning existence and all that remained. Avei felt empty- void of all feeling and motive. Then, as a single heartbeat pulsed in her chest for the first time postmortem, she felt zealous to find the man that did this to her. There was a new righteous cause for revenge, fueled forward by an encompassing surge of a new emotion: pure and unadulterated hatred.
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9. |
Silver Phoenix
02:20
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Knock me down
Kick me 'round
Kill my spirit, make me burn
You seek to destroy
This new flame I employ
Watch me rise
Glorious fire from the ashes I fell
Watch me rise
Brace yourself for the triumphant yell
This fight isn't over
Like a brilliant Phoenix
I will rise
Like a lion
You have a thunder roar
Lumbering around
Seeking who you may devour
We stand to fight
Oh, just try to take this light
Watch me rise
Glorious fire from the ashes I fell
Watch me rise
Brace yourself for the triumphant yell
This fight isn't over
Like a brilliant Phoenix
I will rise
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
We all fall down
Watch me rise
Rise
I will rise to conquer
This darkness underneath it all
Rise
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10. |
Sadistic Heartbreaker
03:06
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Chains can’t hold me, baby
Oh I’m a circus, are you ready
This world belongs to the twisted and weird
Come to the dark side, we’re all cool here
I’m a little bit twisted in my head
Can’t get over what they said
Whoa, twisted in the head
Just be careful where you tread
They say I’m psycho
What a freakshow
Yeah I’m a maniac
I don’t give a care
Make me up, break me down
I’ve been worse, I swear
Like a moth to a flame
Darling, I’m addicted to pain
I’m a little bit twisted in my head
Can’t get over what they said
Whoa, twisted in the head
Just be careful where you tread
They say I’m psycho
What a freakshow
Twisted, t-t-t-twisted. T-t-t-twisted, twisted in my head
Twisted, t-t-t-twisted. T-t-t-twisted, twisted in my head
I’m a little bit twisted in my head
Can’t get over what they said
Whoa, twisted in the head
Just be careful where you tread
They say I’m psycho
What a freakshow
Oh I’m a psycho
We’re all psycho
What a freakshow
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11. |
Slithery lil Snake
02:44
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There's a clock in my head that's like a ticking time bomb
All it takes to make it go is you smiling on
Like there's no wrong in your careless philosophy
You've never committed sins in your life- you're free
I guess it's good to see you're not the perfection I thought you were
I guess it's time to move on, face the facts; you're not only strong
I'm wasted from your poison
I'm holding my breath for good
To preserve myself from your toxic kiss
Viper
There's a song in my heart about a woman and a man
Who sorted out all of their differences and then
Settled down and lived happily on and on
I have the pen and the paper, but oh my
Where is the muse
I guess that could have been us if fairytales did come true
But I know I just can't write about a heartless fiend like you
I'm wasted from your poison
I'm holding my breath for good
To preserve myself from your toxic kiss
Viper
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12. |
The Rats of Hamelin
04:05
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This jail that you’ve locked on me
Holds steady, it’s quite the cage
I’m branded like a sheep
When will you leave me be
(My little dove, my puppet
Do you think you can leave
I pull the strings in this sideshow
You only dance for me)
I danced, I sang, I pleaded
(I gave you all that you needed)
You were an angel of demise
(I was your angel in disguise)
Pied piper, won’t you play your song
A little longer
Because the pleasure is so strong
And though it’s wrong, I just can’t control myself
These shackles lock down
Baby, still
(Because you want me still)
Right
You, the drug that I’m wasting on
So hard coded in my veins
I deserve all that is coming to me
I chose this end
(You know I love you, don’t you
No one can love you like I do)
With this shaded tale we’ve spun,
Who will have me (you) now
Pied piper, won’t you play your song
A little longer
Because the pleasure is so strong
And though it’s wrong, I just can’t control myself
These shackles lock down
Baby, still
(Because you want me still)
Right
All I had and all I was
(I knew you best)
Torn apart, was it all wasted
On this superior agony
That you’ve put me through
I can’t trust you
(Of coping with your ignorance
It’s tiresome at best)
Pied piper, won’t you play your song
A little longer
Because the pleasure is so strong
And though it’s wrong, I just can’t control myself
These shackles lock down
Baby, still
(Because you want me still)
How can I want you still?
(You will always want me)
Right
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13. |
Interlude IV
00:37
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Slave to a masterful manipulator, Avei wrestled with the strings her abuser pulled on her. This existence was putrid, so laced with his hold over her mind. She could not understand this influence he had over her. She had made his world her own; and though she tried to break free, everywhere she looked was a constant reminder of him. She wondered if he was right- no one would have her now. In a desperate plea, she turned to the shadowed faces of the lovers of this beast. And with a twisted grin, they mocked the dove in their midst.
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14. |
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Opinionated, overrated
It's the same story on repeat
I don't remember pulling the string
Chatty Kathy, your tale is boring
We are tired of hearing the same old thing
Can you see my eyes
Rolling to the back of my head
Read between the lines
I don't give a flyin’
Don’t give a flyin’
Huh
Raise your voice, just elevate it
It won't make a single difference
We tune our ears from the monotonous roar
You think you can buy your way in
Do I look like a five dollar whore
Can you see my eyes
Rolling to the back of my head
Read between the lines
I don't give a flyin’
Don’t give a flyin’
Huh
You may think you’re a queen
And your fake goes unseen
I know better
You don't love me honey
You don't know me
You don't own me
Can you see my eyes
Rolling to the back of my head
Read between the lines
I don't give a flyin’
Don't give a flying’
(You’re nothing)
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15. |
Have You Any Wool
03:59
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Who am I
Am I still here
I look in the mirror
To see what they see
Nothing’s there
Invisible, why was I born
You don’t make mistakes but sometimes I wonder
Black sheep
Your wool is different, how they stare
Black sheep
You’re so valuable, but they don’t care
You want to fit in
But your mortal sin- you never will
Black sheep
Was I wrong
Have I fallen
I try so hard
To be what they will see
Notice me
Why can’t I be like you
Black sheep
Your wool is different, how they stare
Black sheep
You’re so valuable, but they don’t care
You want to fit in
But your mortal sin- you never will
Black sheep
The shadows of my existence
Only arbitrate my persistence
There’s worth in there I know
I know
Black sheep
Your wool is different, how they stare
Black sheep
You’re so valuable, but they don’t care
You want to fit in
But your mortal sin- you never will
Black sheep
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16. |
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To think I served you
Now knowing what you are
The monster behind the mask of beguile
Your poison, its taste at first so sweet
Now vile acid
Only you can turn my heart into ash and coal
Your beauty hides the morbid truth of you
I must break these chains
Flee your intoxicating bane
I can see you for the creature you are
Bête noire, you can’t have me
If I’d seen it sooner
This ruse that enticed me
All the time I wasted standing in the bitter cold
Though I’ve seen the light, you refuse to give up the fight
Just let me go
Only you can turn my heart into ash and coal
Your beauty hides the morbid truth of you
I must break these chains
Flee your intoxicating bane
I can see you for the creature you are
Bête noire, you can’t have me
Please liberate me
So much he can’t give me
Please, mon cher ami
Speak louder
Scream louder
Only you can turn my heart into ash and coal
Your beauty hides the morbid truth of you
I must break these chains
Flee your intoxicating bane
I can see you for the creature you are
Bête noire, you can’t have me
You can’t have me
You can’t have me
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